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It All Makes Sense

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Indexed  January 20, 2011

Graeme Swann has a "strangely deformed left knee cap."He’s out for two weeks.It all makes sense now. Only great cricketers have a deformity.Ricky Ponting: Deformed face which magnetically attracts cricket balls.Chris Tremlett: Deformed legs, arms, torso, neck having been stretched to oblivion.Andrew Flintoff: Liver, obviously.Alastair Cook: Deformed eyelashes. Weirdly long. Kevin Pietersen: Ego. Greatly deformed and out of all proportion.Sachin Tendulkar: Lack of growth hormone (also applies to Ian Bell).Dale Steyn: Deformed by looking like Roland Rat.

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